the update

Alhamdulillah…

After waiting for more than 3 months (gosh that is long!), my prayer has been answered. Thank you Allah, syukur!

I will start working today (Wednesday), and have to be there by 8am.

What do I feel as of now? I feel anxious, afraid and excited at the same time. Anxiety kicks in because of doing something that will change and dictate where I go in my life (career bebeh). Afraid because I will be meeting new people and I am not sure whether I will fit in, as I am rather an introvert person; I need time to warm up to people. Excited because I will be meeting new people and this statement is contradictory to afraid. Fml.

So, the notion of raya holiday will not be there, as I had expected if I got selected. And I got selected yahoo? Haha. Yes, there will be no extra holiday for me, and I have to be back in KL on Sunday. And and and, the best part is, the whole family will be having the 1st raya in KL as well (Friday). How fun can that be? *sarcasm*

Please, no duit raya from me, as I have no money and my 1st paycheck will only be available by the end of September which is way far ahead and stop thinking about it because I cannot provide you the money but my parents could and so do my brothers including my sister in law and I hope I will it from them too although it seems that I will get only the boot from them as I am already working. Blarhg.

Again, alhamdulillah syukur.

Ps: will blog more about this later as I need to catch my forty winks!

Waiting (for the longest amount of time!)

ramadhan : the perfect month to exercise our patience level.

as people who read this blog know, i am currently the best unemployed man in ampang. (im going to scale myself to ampang only because in the world seems so far fetched!). and based on my previous blog (which i'll probably bury in 1 month's time), so much had been going on around the scope of obtaining jobs etc. a lot of decisions, a lot of stress for sure, and at the end of the day, i lost and i went emo.

the emo-ness is in the healing process (thank god, kan?), but the scar is still there. i've been isolating myself pretty well, unpertubed by my parents and siblings as i just dont feel the fairness of my condition. and basically im just waiting for them to call me (P**).

i've clocked three months, THREE months of doing nothing that generates income. i am at my wit's end; my bank accounts are depleting, the notion of duit raya is impossible as im no longer studying, and i feel bad having my dad giving me money for me to run my daily life!

please please please, CALL ME. QUICKLY. next week, monday. please? dear Allah, im praying real hard for this,and i;ve been waiting for so long, im hoping it will turn out fine.

ameen.

ps: am thinking of deleting that old blog. tengoklaa.

responsibility

header: letterhead.

ever wonder when is the right time to helm responsibility? i always do. when i was in uni, i wondered when should be the perfect timing for me to step up and lead. (most of the time, inadvertly, i led the team anyway).

when we're wondering about responsibilities, you actually buying yourself more time. i bought myself more time during university days by wondering. just when the deadline of taking that responsibility came, i just took it and whined about it. its because i feel that everybody should share the responsibilities, and the main reason was simply because, i was not that prepared. i was afraid of the outcomes.

yes, that is why we love to wonder when in the process of taking responsibilities. making decisions also involve taking this big R word. personally, im always afraid of taking the R, especially being the leader. you're just afraid, that the outcomes are not as up to par as the others. people are counting on you!

my parents arent getting younger. they're getting that older, day by day. i feel the need to take the responsibility a little. you know, not too much of course! haha. young at heart!

you know what, im starting to think God has His unique ways of helping me buying the time for responsibility. i've been jobless for the past 2 months or so (since my final result came out), and through hell ive been. =) but as i got calmer, my mind got more clearer, my thinking much straighter. the R towards my own life, my parents, my faith, my job (future), all laid in front of me. and it scares me sometimes. no joke.

when will the job offer come? how much should i give to my parents? how much should i save? how to balance work and spiritual needs? zakat fitrah? should i think about love life now or focus on my career first? how long should i save up and how much in order for me to buy a new car? and a house? questions after questions.

i did some planning, to ease myself of this agitatedness, but all in all, i just have to wait. sponsor? yes yes. they're annoying as hell, being late and stuff. but at the same time, having the privilege of sitting in their shoes before this during intern, i somehow still respect them. gosh i have the patience. i can of course, splash them with my colourful choices of words, not to mention fast tongue, but that doesnt change the fact that basically i got free education because of their financial assistance! but i wont stop grumping about them anyway, just so you know.

so the big R. i cant believe, i have to take it now. my brothers have taken it; how they'd fair i'll discuss maybe in the future (maybe AFTER i have taken the R!). patience, patience!

ps: its been one week BB went to repair. i called the shop, and the person who picked it up...oh my. i spoke in english, he didnt get me. i changed to bahasa, STILL he didnt get me. animated through voice, that's an achievement. huhu. i am praying HARD that the phone will be in pristine condition. please, be fast in repairing it.

happy fasting!

yosh!

its the time of the year again, ramadhan. frankly, of late, i showed indifference even when ramadhan approaching. i just go with my life because i was just very engrossed in thinking bout career, interviews, and graduation. but now when im in ramadhan itself, it feels real.

this year, im trying to have more efforts in ramadhan. i was pretty lost, and i talked a lot to myself these past few months. not good. in need of social life, AS well as spiritual life. plus i definitely in need to work on my emo-ness, right? hehe.

this blog is known to very few. and trust me, VERY few. =P because for the obvious > i trust these few NOT to share it unknowingly to others. [please honour this =)] oh plus i tend to rant here a lot, just about everything. and not everything should be known by everybody. :P

today, i went for terawikh. whew, quite nice to be frank. and off i went to guardian to purchase oxy cleanser. oh the salesgirl, she looks very warm! manis muka, kata org melayu. and suddenly a kitten came in. to be frank, the kitten was cuter. =P hehehehe.there i was, buying cleanser, paying to the salesgirl, while playing with the kitten. unusual? you tell me.

well, the salesgirl was very sweet. saya nk amik kucing ni bawak balik rumah. awak suka kucing ek? hehe. comel kan? hahahaha. i just said yeap, suka. tak takut orang pulak kucing ni. miaw.

hihi. such a nonsensical post, isnt it? but that salesgirl was very sweet. oh and the kitten too. thank you kitty, for being the ice breaker of the moment. hahaha.

ps:its even weirder that a cat can enter guardian pharmacy. =)

2am - this song

random stuff.

-mamaduke papaduke bought this one electric therapy machine. it sort of helps in blood circulation (as per the manual book). i dont really give a damn about it, but i read something along the line "skin problem & allergies", straightaway it caught my attention. try battle with acne for 10 years, you'll know why. ;p
-im writing a lot these days. facebook, blog, twitter, tumblr, name it. and im happy with it. sorry for the troubles if you have to read it. somehow when i write about stuff, it makes me feel less agitated. social awkwardness tingtong
-so far my posts have been in full english (here in blogsphere i mean). i hope to keep it that way =)
- my cat is not going back home. wonder where she had been all this while. come back Amidala!
-i am in the process of thinking back and forth, going through all phone line carriers that give the best deal. its about time i use postpaid instead of prepaid. but then again, am i prepared for it? i dont know and not too sure.
-i hate dogs that bark nonstop. and my neighbours' dogs (the front house and two houses on our left) have these super duper annoying barking, the high pitch ones, that really call for attention. i hate it. i especially loathed them during exam weeks. seriously, to the owners, please be more responsible. dont punish them, nor push them etc, but feed them. those dogs just need your attention, NOT ours. so please. btw i saw my neighbour sort of keep on hitting their cages. not helping at all. why bother having them when you cant even take care of them? sheesh bodoh punya olang.
-the weather is indeed quite heaty lately, havent it?
-lately im hooked to Spa-Q the tv series. the acting is somehow plain kayu among them, the transition between shots were very lacking if you compare with the likes gossip girls etc. but im still hooked. maybe because as annoying as the storyline can be, it reflects our life. damn.

im just bored, so i write.

aaliyah - i miss you

its only been one day, but ive already miss you like crazy.

i feel your warmth in my hand.

your look made me smile.

please, come back fast. i miss you. BB.

hahaha!

but truly, i want to hold you. i know i have to be real; 1 week is quite the impossible but im really praying to Allah that the phone will be as good as brand new within this week. amin.

ps: i seriously do not know what i should do, as i have to wait for 10 days (10 days, or 10 working days?) for the news from P**. gotta wait gotta wait.
pss: this phone problem actually kinda ruin my mood in a way. forgive me if im quite emo-ish in twitter or facebook. we plan, God decides.
pss: ramadhan approaching! this year probably will be slightly different than years before. as im no longer that responsible towards study etc, so perhaps i will make fill my time with beneficial actions. =)

the day i totally went ballistic. not proud!

fuhhh..

1st up, my apologies. i promised not to get angry to any soul, and try to be calm and collected. today, i broke dat promise. :P

it started this afternoon. i was grodgy (the cough medicine really works as substitute of sleeping pills!), and ella called me etc. when i was about to close my eyes, suddenly i caught attention on my keypad. ok try to look at the picture of 9700 below, you see there's three line of silver thingy that separate each level of keypad right? haaa.. the bottom most silver line, on my phone, had a crack! i was wide awake since.

adrenaline rushed through my vein, all i know of is that at 3.30pm, i was infront of the shop, and showed the salesperson (by the name of Wai). he was shocked as well, because i bought it last thursday! less than 3 days man. so he took my phone somewhere, after 30 minutes (which already saw me quite fuming), he came back.

i expected him to say that it can be replaced, under warranty, and it gonna took more than 1 week etc, but instead, he said  that it cant be replaced. memang saje cari nahas laa kan. from being calm, my voice pitch was getting higher and higher. you see, when im excited OR angry, i tend to talk in a very fast manner. i gave him no chance of toying around me with me.

bu he dared to say this! "its not covered under warranty ma!" kepala hangguk kau tak covered. in the warranty card;

5. 12 months warranty applies on mobile devices & firmware EXCLUDING the above mentioned.

in the warranty card, it does not mentioned anything about keypad or what ever. so to use the term excluding in the clause 5, it is clear that the keypad IS indeed under 12 months warranty. memang kau salah pilih customer laa nk kata ak bukan under warranty, mmg takziah laa kan kekekeke. "you think i dont understand simple english? it stated here in the warranty card. i have perfect understanding of the term excluding there, or ARE you the one who does not get it?"

he asked me to call the number in the warranty card, (013-3333478), so i called. and i asked that person, straightforwardly, why on earth its not covered. he on the other hand, said that just send it to them! sangat laa penipu kan. so i said to him, i discuss with Wai first. suddenly! he took 180 degree change in attitude, and said that he will send the phone for repair! "i consider this cheating you know! are you cheating on me?"  and on he gave me crap reasons and what not.

so here i am, using my old samsung back (oh dear...). waiting for my phone to be settled. Wai said it will take at least 1 week, which i doubt actually. but i will constantly check on it, and see what happens to it. in the meantime, the waiting game begins. haishhh... i wish for smooth sailing ride with a new phone, but apparently, God has His plan. i can only pray that it turns out well.

ps: its been more than a year i havent outwardly went ballistic. usually, it will be through facebook, or twitter. and that doesnt count really. but today, one soul just got the taste of what my temper would be like. hihi. i feel good actually!
pss: but on the side note, i hope i WONT get this angry to any more soul, except to deserving ones indeed (sucky waiter ke, orang2 yg berlagak ke ape ke kan). yes, i feel good after letting it go, but the consience makes me feel bad as well. so no, i hope no more ballistic, just to those that really deserve it. =)

peace!

new toy!

is this! blacberry 9700

ive been wanting this phone since early march i think. reasons?

1) ive grown tired of my samsung f480. its tiring to type using a full touchscreen.

2)ella use bb 8520 and it sort of gives me the early kickstart of bb loveeee. :P (sangat lah wutever).

last saturday was my convocation. n frankly, i was fussing to my parents i wanted a gift (gile gedix kan???hahaha). after god-help-me 5 hours of torturous sitting in the hall, we finished the procession. i tried to call my parents, snap a pic or two (yea rite), then bid goodbye. but i cant got thru them! i tried for 1 hour, in between i met taufik and dyana and a few other friends, i was about to slammed the phone out of frustration (yea temper...not good!muhasabah diri)... then only i can get through. itupun tak dapat call maxis, call celcom my bro punye number.

was thinking of changing it AFTER i got a job (first salary to buy a phone, such a lame objective). then somehow, on tuesday, dad gave me money. "kata nak hadiah kan?" on cloud nine beteh! then i already planned on buying it later in august. suddenly...

my samsung dropped a call on thursday. not good. and during one interview (shall blog bout it later), the exec who handled us told one girl "saya tak dpt call awak. phone prob ke? susahlaa kalau tak on phone ye. kami kena susun jadual betul2 ye". the night b4 i was thinking about buying it after the interview, but those words sort of cemented the decision making. haha.

traded my samsung (rm1.6k phone jadi rm300 je, worthless edi), took the blackberry, used the money dad gave, and added rm100 for it. i was happy, the salesman was happy, we all were.

so far, it works great. i love the BIS service, although pricey at rm2.50 per day. but now i close the data connection of my phone, for fear of using more money than i should (im not working yet). insyaAllah, God's willing, will use data plan by next month or so. IF i got selected for the programme.

one of the greatest gift is the gift of freedom. if i got selected, i will be able to exercise freedom of finance. haha. and make my parents happy. then i am happy. i can just pray now, because its already the final stage. amin

btw, im down with fever. adoii. and it was during the day of interview. i tried to give my best impression on dat day. hope dat works. :)

off to some food. toodles.

testing one two three. huhu

another new blog. this one is the real one.

the reason i blog is because i can pour my heart's content.

i tried to minimise using facebook as my emo rantings, because my cousins and my work friends are there.
twitter is for passion; things that get me around on daily life. and since i got a stalker (or rather a paranoid who asks weird question regarding my tweet), i tend to exercise 'selection' tweeting. which is not fun.
i had a blogspot, and i've deleted it thrice. and the third one is on the verge of getting to be discovered by a certain psychopath (kidding, but not really haha).

so, i have to make another blogspot. i want to keep writing things im passionate about and things that happened around me, so to make myself less worried, i tend to jump on blogspot url's a lot. so forgive me on that.

thank you, have a nice day! :)